Kids should come with a warning label. It should read.
- I will change your life. Forever. Nothing can be the same again. -
Yes. its wonderful. Yes. its the best thing that happened to me. Having munchkin and cupcake changed my life in all the most perfect ways.
But.
It also made my life so much more difficult. Not to say I am not rewarded dearly for those difficulties..but there are irrevocable changes that happened when I became their mama.
I stopped sleeping. The last time I slept a solid night was probably around the four/five month mark in my first pregnancy. Now, like all mothers, I sleep in bursts. And even when I sleep I feel like one ear is trained on the baby monitor while the other is listening for sounds of distress from my munchkins room. Ive woken up countless nights to the feeling of a warm hand petting my face and these beady little eyes staring at me as I open my sleep drenched eyes. ITS CREEPY! So very creepy.. I wake up before cupcake starts to cry on the monitor....just her breathing can change and I wake up. That cant be good for my sleep....
I miss that sleep. You know the one I am talking about. When nothing could disturb you, when you slept like the dead. This deep never-ending sweet sleep. Or better yet. Sleeping in... that was awesome. To wake up at 1 pm on a Saturday and not even feel guilty.
Now its all gone. And the saddest part is. I dont want it back. If I had to trade my girls for sleep I would never do it. Never. So good bye sleep. But oh how I will miss it over the next few years.
I stopped having 'me' time. Even the bathroom is a shared communal experience where Munchkin performs elaborate dances as I attempt to pee. I've lost count of the number of showers I have abruptly ended because I thought I heard one of the kids crying. I dont read blogs about art, literature, or current events. I read blogs about parenting, what I am doing wrong and how to fix my parenting skills. I spend my time on pinterest looking up arts and crafts projects for the kiddos, foods that they will like to eat, or how to decorate girls rooms. I plan my calender around munchkins kindergym and school schedule, or cupcakes doctors appointments.
I remember Saturdays spent waking up in the middle of the afternoon, getting dressed and walking lazily around downtown Toronto, while drifting into a quaint restuarant for a late lunch. I would be lying if I said I dont miss that. I miss the 'me' time. I think I miss this most of all.
I miss not being Mama 24/7. all day. everyday.
But then for one harrowing second I think what it would be like to not be mama for a moment and I stop cold. My heart stops, my eyes fill with tears, my hands reach for the warm feel of my dauthers. Because. I am forever changed. My life changed on August 12, 2010 at 7:21 pm. Forever.
I became Mama. Everything changed. Forever. and I am eternally grateful for it.
- I will change your life. Forever. Nothing can be the same again. -
Yes. its wonderful. Yes. its the best thing that happened to me. Having munchkin and cupcake changed my life in all the most perfect ways.
But.
It also made my life so much more difficult. Not to say I am not rewarded dearly for those difficulties..but there are irrevocable changes that happened when I became their mama.
I stopped sleeping. The last time I slept a solid night was probably around the four/five month mark in my first pregnancy. Now, like all mothers, I sleep in bursts. And even when I sleep I feel like one ear is trained on the baby monitor while the other is listening for sounds of distress from my munchkins room. Ive woken up countless nights to the feeling of a warm hand petting my face and these beady little eyes staring at me as I open my sleep drenched eyes. ITS CREEPY! So very creepy.. I wake up before cupcake starts to cry on the monitor....just her breathing can change and I wake up. That cant be good for my sleep....
I miss that sleep. You know the one I am talking about. When nothing could disturb you, when you slept like the dead. This deep never-ending sweet sleep. Or better yet. Sleeping in... that was awesome. To wake up at 1 pm on a Saturday and not even feel guilty.
Now its all gone. And the saddest part is. I dont want it back. If I had to trade my girls for sleep I would never do it. Never. So good bye sleep. But oh how I will miss it over the next few years.
I stopped having 'me' time. Even the bathroom is a shared communal experience where Munchkin performs elaborate dances as I attempt to pee. I've lost count of the number of showers I have abruptly ended because I thought I heard one of the kids crying. I dont read blogs about art, literature, or current events. I read blogs about parenting, what I am doing wrong and how to fix my parenting skills. I spend my time on pinterest looking up arts and crafts projects for the kiddos, foods that they will like to eat, or how to decorate girls rooms. I plan my calender around munchkins kindergym and school schedule, or cupcakes doctors appointments.
I remember Saturdays spent waking up in the middle of the afternoon, getting dressed and walking lazily around downtown Toronto, while drifting into a quaint restuarant for a late lunch. I would be lying if I said I dont miss that. I miss the 'me' time. I think I miss this most of all.
I miss not being Mama 24/7. all day. everyday.
But then for one harrowing second I think what it would be like to not be mama for a moment and I stop cold. My heart stops, my eyes fill with tears, my hands reach for the warm feel of my dauthers. Because. I am forever changed. My life changed on August 12, 2010 at 7:21 pm. Forever.
I became Mama. Everything changed. Forever. and I am eternally grateful for it.
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