It took all day. 3 Failed attempts to leave the house. I had to download music, wipe the ipod clean, and charge it up. I had to negotiate the precarious balance to ensure both girls napped at the same time. I had to be totally ready for the second their eyes shut.
I had to close my eyes to the messy play area, the dishes in the sink, the unmade bed in my room, the clothes not put away. The paraphenlia of having two kids.
But more then anything else. I had to be determined.
to go for a jog.
I have lots and lots of weight to lose, from the pregnancies, the losses, the bad eating indulgences....just lots of weight. Im tired of looking bad. Im tired of feeling unfit, fat, and not comfortable in my own skin.
Ive been trying to go for this jog forever. Almost two weeks. Everyday I had an excuse, oh the music isnt downloaded. Oh I dont have
So today I laced up my sneakers, and got that ipod out and off I went. I didnt do much. Or more like I wasnt able to do much. I just was so happy to have gotten out the door.
Ive been miserable about how I look for a long time now. Infact, I cant remember the last time I was happy with how I looked. I havent bought clothes because I always think Ill buy clothes when I lose weight. Ill dress up when I lose the weight. Always the excuse is when I lose the weight.
And it hasnt happened. Not since I got pregnant with Nadine back in 2010. I have only gained weight. Its an awful feeling.
Didnt really hit me until I read an article recently about taking pics with your kids and how so many moms dont get in the picture. Because we arent dressed up, or we can remember the last time we washed our hair so its all skwey looking. But my reason for having so few shots with my girls is. I hate how I look. I can avoid mirrors but once its in the picture. there it is. for everyone to see. my thunderthighs.... As I read the article I realized how few shots I have with my girls.
It makes me sad that I have allowed a situation which I have control over to have such a profound impact on my life. Munchkin and cupcake will only be this age once. Never again will they be 2.5 and 4 monthes old. If I dont do something about getting in those pictures with them then whats the point...
I need to lose the weight.
So I laced up my sneakers and snuck out the door as the two girls napped.
It felt glorious.
Finally a step in the right direction. Not sure if Ill be ready for those pictures anytime soon but at least Im one step closer...
I had to close my eyes to the messy play area, the dishes in the sink, the unmade bed in my room, the clothes not put away. The paraphenlia of having two kids.
But more then anything else. I had to be determined.
to go for a jog.
I have lots and lots of weight to lose, from the pregnancies, the losses, the bad eating indulgences....just lots of weight. Im tired of looking bad. Im tired of feeling unfit, fat, and not comfortable in my own skin.
Ive been trying to go for this jog forever. Almost two weeks. Everyday I had an excuse, oh the music isnt downloaded. Oh I dont have
So today I laced up my sneakers, and got that ipod out and off I went. I didnt do much. Or more like I wasnt able to do much. I just was so happy to have gotten out the door.
Ive been miserable about how I look for a long time now. Infact, I cant remember the last time I was happy with how I looked. I havent bought clothes because I always think Ill buy clothes when I lose weight. Ill dress up when I lose the weight. Always the excuse is when I lose the weight.
And it hasnt happened. Not since I got pregnant with Nadine back in 2010. I have only gained weight. Its an awful feeling.
Didnt really hit me until I read an article recently about taking pics with your kids and how so many moms dont get in the picture. Because we arent dressed up, or we can remember the last time we washed our hair so its all skwey looking. But my reason for having so few shots with my girls is. I hate how I look. I can avoid mirrors but once its in the picture. there it is. for everyone to see. my thunderthighs.... As I read the article I realized how few shots I have with my girls.
It makes me sad that I have allowed a situation which I have control over to have such a profound impact on my life. Munchkin and cupcake will only be this age once. Never again will they be 2.5 and 4 monthes old. If I dont do something about getting in those pictures with them then whats the point...
I need to lose the weight.
So I laced up my sneakers and snuck out the door as the two girls napped.
It felt glorious.
Finally a step in the right direction. Not sure if Ill be ready for those pictures anytime soon but at least Im one step closer...
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